You may be a geek redneck if... have loony-toons stickers on your pickup truck. carry both the Leatherman Classic and the Leatherman Wave because you never know when you'll need two pairs of pliers. insist that your family tree is in fact a graph. have a DEC-10 on bricks in your front yard.

...your trailer has a T3.'re living in that trailer to afford the T3. think a gateway is something you do after a stick-up.'ve ever been too drunk to chat. use your Leatherman for a nail file. work on a working monitor on top of a non-working monitor.

...your computer stand is made of a stack of old tires or 2 x 8's and cinderblocks. have a string going from the spindle of your hard disk to the rotisserie on your barbeque.

...your PC speakers came from the Moonlight Drive-in.'ve ever worked on a "deenus" server.

...your fileserver has more stickers than your pickup.

...your monitor has a nerf-gun-rack.

...your screen saver is a Confederate flage and plays Dixie. dropped out of college because an entry-level helpdesk job opened up at the ISP. think a hard drive is a trip to Uncle Buba's.

...your stomach overlaps half of your keyboard.'ve ever tried to put your empty beer cans into the Recycling Bin. think "UPS" is what the guy on the brown truck says when he drops your new 'puter.

...your laptop cost more than your last three cars.'ve ever tried to repair a $5 radio.'ve ever replaced the write-protect tab on a floppy with duct tape. keep your spare cables in a milk crate.'ve ever played frisbee with CDs.'ve ever used your CD drive as a beer holder. hear somebody mention NT and think they left the first T off. think QIC is missing the K at the end.

...your email program says, "Y'all got mail."'ve ever called tech support to find out where to buy stamps for email.'ve ever bought a new case for your 'puter because you've drilled so many mounting holes for so many motherboards the bottom looks like swiss cheese. think SMTP means Send Mail To Phriends. think POP3 refers to Coke, Pepsi and Dew. think www in a url stands for World Wrestling Federation.'ve ever broken a tooth pulling a fastener out of a rack just to prove you can do it.'ve ever stripped CAT-5 cable with your teeth.

...your mouse keeps knocking over your spitcan. think a mousepad is where Mighty Mouse and his cousins hang. think IP addressing is pointing somebody to the little detached room out back.

...your screen saver shows fuzzy dice. think Perl is something you put on a string around a girl's neck. think the guy that made your keyboard is dumb 'cause the letters are out of order. add caffine to Jolt Cola.

...your still adds caffine to the output.'ve ever picked hot'n spicy pork-rind crumbs out of your keyboard. pick crumbs out of your keyboard by shaking it over your mouth. see the shift key and look for the gear shift. see the word Zip and suddenly realize why you've been feeling a draft.'ve got an old CP/M machine that's a working still...when the revenours aren't looking.'ve ever opened an email virus because it's been so long since anybody told you they loved you.'ve ever opened an email viruse to find out who loved you.'ve ever put a data tape in yer car sterio and liked the results.'ve ever put punched cards through your bike's wheel spokes.'ve ever used a dead hard drive as a paperweight.

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