Taoism |
|
Shit happens |
Confucianism |
|
Confucius says, "shit happens." |
Buddhism |
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If shit happens, it is not really shit. |
Zen-Buddhism |
|
What is the sound of shit happening? |
Hindism |
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This shit happened before. |
Islam |
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If shit happens, it is the will of Allah. |
Protestantism |
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Let shit happen to someone else. |
Catholicism |
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If shit happens you deserve it. |
Mormonism |
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Shit doesn't happen to us. |
Calvinism |
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Shit is predestined to happen. |
Presbyterianism |
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Shit happens because it was planned that way. |
Unitarianism |
|
We will study shit happening |
Quakerism |
|
Bless the happening of the shit. |
Methodism |
|
Shit will not happen to you unless you smoke, drink or dance. |
Deism |
|
Shit happens everywhere |
Deveel Whorship |
|
You will buy this shit. |
Atheism |
|
Shit doesn't happen. |
Agnosticism |
|
I don't know whether shit happens. |
Dyslexism |
|
Tish happens. |
Puritanism |
|
Shit happening is God's punishment. |
Fundamentalism |
|
If the scriptures do not say shit happens, it does not happen. |
Secular Humanism |
|
It is the fault of society that shit happens. |
Liberation Theology |
|
It is the fault of the rich that shit happens |
Dianetics |
|
Why does shit happen? See page 462. |
Heaven's Gate |
|
Oh, my God! Shit didn't happen! |
Communism |
|
Shit is required to happen to everybody. |
Charasmatic |
|
Shit happens. Hallelujah! Praise the Lord! |
New Age Theology |
|
Shit happening leads to self awareness. |
Existentialism |
|
There is nothing except shit happening. |
Satanism |
|
We make shit happen. |
Santaism |
|
He's making a shitlist and checking it twice. |
TV Evangelism |
|
Watch the shit happen. (And please send money to help keep us on
the air.) |
Jehovah's Witnesses |
|
{Knock, knock} Excuse me,
may I have five minutes of your time to tell you exactly why shit
happens? |
Judaism |
|
Why does shit always happen to us? |
Hippiism |
|
Hey, man, try some of this goovy Columbian shit! |
Paganism |
|
Shit above, shit below. |
Wicca |
|
Shit will return threefold. |
Hare Krishna |
|
Shit happens, shit happens, happens happens, shit shit. |